For the worship service I chose to “gown up” as a Pastor and to use the traditional parts of the Lutheran Communion liturgy (albeit without any chanting!).  While the students were not invited to receive the elements (the bread and the wine), they were encouraged to come forward for a blessing if they wished.  Their response was fascinating.  Whereas I had expected some misbehavior and “this is boring” responses (after all it was a hot afternoon on the last day of the school week) the students seemed to be drawn into and engaged by the ritual of the Sacrament.  When it came time for the blessing of students, they came forward eagerly and expectantly, with a spirit of reverence and appreciation.  After the service was finished, the students engaged well in a Q&A time with the pastors … and when they returned to their classrooms one of the teachers reported a further 20 minute “sharing time” where students opened up with their spiritual questions and reflections.

What have I learnt from this?  For one thing, not to underestimate the power of ritual to engage children and draw them towards deeper spiritual reflection.  The “otherness” of formal ritual points to the reality of a spiritual realm that transcends the ordinary.  We perhaps err when we strip ministry with children of elements of formalised ritual in the name of supposed “cultural relevance”.  Use of traditional forms and approaches can give children touchpoints with the sacred that are not present in the technologically-saturated world in which they otherwise live and learn.

Another less-common tradition is the Advent paper chain.  Christmas-related instructions are written or printed on paper slips, which are then pasted or stapled together to form a chain.  Each day a link is removed and the family follows the instructions.  Download your “Christmas Links” resource here.

Use of a Jesse Tree is also a rich family Advent tradition.  The Reformed Church in America has a great set of Jesse Tree resources on their website.  You can also learn more about the Jesse Tree tradition here.

1. Children have an innate connection to God. All children come from God, and God’s Spirit is breathed into them at birth. As human beings, they are created in the image of God to be in relationship with God. As they live, learn, love, and experience, they seek meaning in their lives and in the wider world; they seek to develop fully into the beings God created them to be. This resource affirms that God is the source of our being, our meaning, and our loving.
2. Children have a natural openness to mystery. Because their imaginations are rich and fertile, they do not have to know all the answers. They are comfortable living in the “in-between.” Our culture puts an inordinate emphasis on reasoning and knowing “the Truth”; having the right answers is powerful and is rewarded. Yet right answers often lead to our own control and not to faith in God. This resource encourages the space and place for not knowing, for living into mystery, which is the foundation for reliance on God and faith.
3. Children have an amazing capacity for awe. This capacity for awe is connected to their openness to mystery, their zest for reaching their potential, and their rich imaginations. Awe leads to a life of prayer. Awe inclines us to be present in and to the mystery of God.
4. Children are receivers. They have no difficulty expressing their needs and accepting their dependency. They can easily surrender their self-sufficiencies and allow themselves to be served. Prayer is opening ourselves to receive God’s nourishment of restoring, healing, loving, and changing us. Receptivity is vital to prayer, and children are natural receivers.
5. Children love what is real. Spiritual practices are real, authentic, and lifelong because God is real and our lives are real. Children know this.
6. Children are wonderfully humble. What you see in them is what you get! They haven’t yet put on the masks of cultural niceties and rationalizations. Our society encourages mask-wearing, with expectations to conform and with concerns for being good, often fueled by our desires for success. Some of this is necessary. Yet children need to know and accept themselves, to know that God loves them just as they are. Humility is nurtured through this self-acceptance, understanding, and affirmation.

One of the ministry projects that has taken up a great deal of my spare time has been the launch of an afterschool children’s ministry program in my local community.  One of the objectives of the ministry is to provide a platform for the Lutheran congregations in the town to connect in more significant ways with the many unchurched families and children that are associated with the Lutheran school that is here.

The events that we are hosting have a number of elements:

1. Food and play time – the purpose is get food into the kids after a day at school and to get the wiggle out!
2. Presentation of the event theme through music, drama, message etc.
3. Activity time – crafts etc. offered in a rotational format.
4. Small group time.
5. Closing worship time.

We have had a great start, with the number of children at the second event doubling from the first.  There has been a lot of buzz around what has taken place, with God’s Word being shared in word and deed in a variety of ways.  But what has been most rewarding for the leaders has been the reaction of the children to the closing worship time.  In this time we have a song, revisit the theme Bible verse and have an open prayer opportunity  A candle is lit and the lights are turned off.  The way the kids have engaged in the prayer time has been amazing – a large proportion of the children have offered their one-sentence prayers one after the other in the large group … prayers that have been faith-filled, thoughtful and heartfelt.

The spiritual response and engagement of the children has emphasised to me once again the power and importance of creating “sacred space” for kids – places, spaces and times when they can express their faith in unscripted ways.  I suspect that in many children’s ministry programs there is much more emphasis on giving children “consumer experiences” than inviting and enabling them to develop and grow as “practitioners” of faith.  When and where we give children opportunity to express their faith in their own ways, we see unmistakeable signs of Christ alive in them.  Christ is as much present and at work in kids as he is in adults, and their faith is as real and valid as that of adults.  Even from the lips of infants, God has “ordained praise” (Matthew 21:16).

Timothy’s grandmother Lois was a person of living faith who had passed on her beliefs to her daughter and grandson (2 Timothy 1:5).  Grandparents can play a very special part in communicating faith and values to their grandchildren.  In their calling as elders in faith they have wonderful gifts to offer:

SELF-WORTH.  Children feel great when their grandparents give them positive recognition and unconditional love.   

HERITAGE.  Whether they close by or far away, grandparents can do much to give children a sense of their identity and belonging.

ACCEPTANCE.  Children need to know that the adults who are important to them accept their enthusiasms, ideas and activities.  Such acceptance by grandparents is hugely affirming for grandchildren.   

LOVE.  The gift of “I will be there for you at all times, no matter what” – whether spoken aloud, written in a letter, or shown by deeds – will always be the most treasured and remembered gift of all.

Thank your children’s grandparents for what they offer!  Remind them that they have a special God-given role and calling.

• Don’t spoil me. I know I ought not have all I’ve asked for. I’m only testing you.
• Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it. It makes me feel more secure.
• Don’t let me form bad habits. I’m relying on you for their early detection.
• Don’t make me feel “small”. It only makes me behave stupidly trying to be “big”.
• Don’t correct me in front of others if you can help it. I prefer it in private.
• Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
• Don’t make rash promises. It breaks trust when promises are broken.

From Ephesians 6:4 -

“Do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Many people make plans for their financial future but few approach their spiritual lives in the same way.  In Luke 14 we find that Jesus encourages us to think carefully about what it means to follow him and to plan our lives accordingly. 

Make time this week to talk about your household’s spiritual goals.  As a community of Jesus’ disciples, what would you like to (a) keep doing; (b) stop doing; (c) start doing; (d) do differently?  Set one or two goals for your spiritual life (e.g. “We would like to pray together more”, “We would like to serve others more”).  Brainstorm ideas for working towards this goal and decide on one or more action steps.  Print up your goal/s on a poster or large piece and paper and place in a prominent spot in your home.  Revisit your goal/s in the coming months.

But while such promises are appealing and some of the advice helpful, there is no such thing as a perfect formula for parenting children.  Rather, there is a perfectly gracious God who says “I will be with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).  Christian parenting is not about having it all together or following a predetermined pattern.  It involves living daily in dependence on God’s grace and love in Christ.

And as we do, we teach our children the most important lesson of all:  that God is for and with them in Jesus, no matter what!

But in addition to the theological case for all-age worship, there are also good practical reasons to reconsider the separation of generations for the Sunday worship hour.  I was heartened to read a post this week by Brian Haynes, auther of the the book Shift and a pastor at Kingsland Baptist Church in Katy, Texas.  Brian lists four “practical reasons” for all-age worship:

• Worship is full of God sightings. Every time you celebrate communion, observe a baptism, lift your hands as you sing, our hear the Word of God, parents have a chance to teach their children about God.
• Worship together creates a common experience for Faith Talks.  If the Pastor preached about Noah that day and the whole family hears it, parents have common ground for faith talks with their children and youth.
• Worship together gives families the opportunity to be together at church for family moments like Mother’s day, Father’s day, Christmas, and Easter.
• Kids need to experience multi-generational worship.  This blows away the idea that “church is for kids” and allows children the opportunity to see senior adults, parents, youth , and children worshiping together. That’s a lot like Heaven!

As Brian suggests in his post, moving from “here to there” is often difficult for churches.  Promoting the inclusion of children in all-age worship may mean changing worship times to make room for children’s ministry (or vice-versa).  The presence of children in corporate worship also challenges worship leaders to make the elements of worship more accessible for those of all ages.  In sum, change in this direction may mean hard work and a lot of creative energy (which will certainly not be appreciated or welcomed by all).   But I am convinced congregations that do so successfully will find themselves made richer by the journey and its outcomes.

1. In a time of relative calm (Sunday morning is not likely to be one of those), explain to your children why you value Sunday worship attendance.  In my family, worship attendance is a “family value”, something we do because it is core to our identity as a household under God.  Yes, while worship may sometimes be unfulfilling, our attendance is an act of thankful obedience to God who serves us despite our often “boring” behavior towards him and others.  He is 100% faithful to us, and going to worship is a symbol of our desire (however faltering) to be faithful towards Him and our fellow Christians.
2. Make practical preparations in advance (e.g the evening before) so that possible tension points are removed from your Sunday “getting ready” time.  Set out clothes, your church offerings and other bits and pieces that you take along with you.  Pave the way for a smooth bed-to-pew transition.
3. Look for tools and aids that can make your children’s overall experience of worship more interesting.  For little children, take along a bag of “church toys” (avoid noisy ones).  Primary school age children can bring along Bible story books or Bible story coloring pages.  Older children and teenagers can bring along their own Bibles and/or hymnbooks.
4. Actively guide your children through the worship services.  Bring along Bibles from home and help your children locate the readings.  If you use hymnbooks, help them find the correct pages and help them “track” with the song words.
5. Make it your goal to memorize with your children some of the “standard” parts of the worship service to enhance their participation.  My younger daughter is very proud to have memorized the Apostles’ Creed and makes a definite point of joining in every time it is recited in worship.
6. Be proactive in helping your children develop relationships with others in your church family.   Ask other adults in your congregation to welcome your children and to engage with them.  You may even ask them to sit with you for the sake of your children.
7. Look for ways your children can actively participate in worship services e.g. as lectors, acolytes, lead singers, ushers.  If necessary, be an advocate for them.  Challenge your Pastor or your church leaders to find ways to regularly involve children.
8. Build positive family traditions around Sunday worship e.g. go out for a meal afterwards or have a special lunch at home.
9. Model a positive worshipful attitude yourself!  If parents are not engaged worshippers, their children are unlikely to become so.

Do you have other suggestions to add to this list?  Your comments are welcome … !